On Sunday, 9th March, was my birthday. During prayers in the Church meeting, Pastor Ita rebuked different demonic influences oppressing us. I reacted when he rebuked the spirit that causes agitation. I also reacted strongly to another spirit—the spirit of an attachment to the past.
I was really surprised at how strongly I reacted. I wondered to myself, “Which one is the spirit of an attachment to the past?” So I spoke to the leader assigned to care for me about it, and she gave me some more clarity on it, even pointing out specific examples. As I pondered further, the Holy Spirit also revealed to me how that spirit had manifested in my life.
I realised something that would often happen; when someone offended me, sometimes we’d talk about it, and I’d also ask the Lord to forgive them and try to move on. But I would find that I kept remembering the offence like it was a recent thing. Things would seem to have gotten resolved when I spoke to the offender about the matter, but soon I’d remember the offence and find a reason to still be hurt about it.
At different times, I would think I had already dealt with an issue, but it would come back again like I hadn’t dealt with it. My friends would be surprised when I told them things they did to me that hurt me months after it had happened. This is because I kept remembering the matter till I had to talk about it to them. Now, this could be just a work of the flesh. But when it is often uncontrollable and unstoppable despite several efforts, understanding from scriptures, and resolve, a demonic spirit may have come in to help. So, it seemed old wounds were constantly reopened and made to look new.
I also remembered that these traits manifested in a close member of my family. This spirit makes someone live in regret almost constantly because they’re unable to move on from things that happened, and prevents one from being joyful. I believe it leads one to stay in a state of brokenness, just like I was constantly in.
It’s not cute to always be the hurt one, the pained one, or the overly sensitive one. Pastor has preached that brokenness comes into a person’s life when they do not forgive others and when they hold on to past hurts. During an Intercessor’s tarry, Pastor also reminded us of the four kinds of sheep, and one of those types was the broken/wounded sheep. He explained that healing is very necessary so one can serve better.
I realised that one of the reasons this feeling of brokenness was nurtured was because of selfishness, because you are consumed and thinking about yourself more.
After the deliverance, I noticed that I had more grace to move on from past things. It was easier to let go of offences. I also noticed that things that used to hurt me before became easier to deal with, and I moved on very quickly from them. It’s also easier not to keep records of wrongs in mind. My soul is healed. I thank God for healing and restoration.
And I’m also encouraging anyone who is still struggling with things like this to seek and receive healing, by paying attention to God’s words on the matter, obedience to it: going to meet the one who offended you to resolve things (Matthew 18), asking God to forgive those who caused you pain, and receiving deliverance if needed.
May God’s name be praised.
© GAM 2025
